The Hard Truth: "When Your Family Doesn't Understand Mental Health"

Jennifer Poston

Let's talk about something heavy-but real. The kind of truth people don't always say out loud. Something that particularly fuels me to write my blogs and to give me the compassion needed to help others and why Rising From Stigma, Inc. exists.

What happens when the people who are supposed to love you the most-your family-but they don't understand your mental health struggles? Worse.......what happens when they dismiss it? Label it? Or blame you for it?

If you're the "difficult one," the "over-reactor," or the one they roll their eyes at when you try to explain what you're going through-this is especially for you from me...myself and I.

When Family Love Feels Conditional

We grow up believing that family means unconditional love. That no matter wjat we face in life, the people closest to us will stand beside us. But for many living with mental illness, that simply isn't the reality for most of us.

You may hear things like

• "You're being dramatic"

• "You just need to suck it up"

• "You're always so negative"

• "You should pray more about it"

• "Why can't you be like your brother"

Instead of support, you get silenced. Instead of empathy, you get judgement. And slowly, that kind of invalidation doesn't just hurt-it isolates.

Why They Don't Understand (Even if they say they love you)

1. Generational Gaps: Many of our parents or older relatives weren't raised in a time when mental health was even acknowledged. They were taught to "suck it up"(and not grow). Emotional pain was weakness. Therapy was shameful. Mental illness was hidden behind closed doors.

2. Fear of What They Don't Understand: It's easier for some people to label you than to face the discomfort of your truth. It takes emotional maturity to say, "I don't understand what you're going through, but I'm here." Sadly, not everyone is capable of that.

3. Family Roles Are Hard to Break: If you've been "the problem child" or "the moody one" your whole life, they may not know how to see you any other way. They're stuck in the version of you that fits their comfort zone-even if you're grown.

How It Affects You

• You begin to doubt yourself.

• You question your reality.

• You shrink your needs to keep the peace.

• You isolate to avoid being misunderstood-Again.

And worst of all, you may start to internalize their misunderstanding . You might believe you're too much. That you're the family burden. That healing isn't for people like you.

But here's the truth they never taught you: Your pain is valid. Your story matters. And you are not too much.

What Healing Looks Like When Family Doesn't Show Up

1. You stop begging for their understanding. Not out of bitterness-but out of self respect.

2. You find chosen family. People who sit with your mess, celebrate your growth, and see you, not just your diagnosis.

3. You set boundaries.

   Loving someone doesn't mean allowing them to hurt you. Sometimes, protecting your peace means loving them from a distance.

4. You become your own advocate. You learn your patterns, your needs, your triggers-and you fight for your healing, even if you have to do it alone.

To the Misunderstood One in the Family

I see you. I am you.

You spent years trying to be heard in rooms that never listened. Trying to make peace with people who only offered blame. Trying to love yourself while being made to feel broken.

But you are not broken.

You are battling something invisible. Something exhausting. You're doing it in a world that doesn't always know how to hold you gently-especially the people who should've known how.

Still......you're here.

You're growing.

You're healing.

The cold hard truth is that your family and friends may never get it. What is important is that you learn about yourself and take care of yourself.

Final Words

Mental illness doesn't make you a failure. It doesn't make you unworthy of love. It doesn't make you less than your siblings, your parents, or anyone else in your family.

Your healing is your revolution. Your truth is your power not anyone else's. So protect yourself if you feel you need to. Your survival is your story-and your allowed to write it, even if no one else claps for the pages.

You're not the "crazy one". You're the strong one.

Keep going.

With you,

Jennifer Poston

Founder of Rising From Stigma, Inc.

"Grow Through What You Go Through"